Games

The Games People Play

No we are not talking about checkers, football or cards.

These are the psychological games people play. The famous Dr. Eric Berne defined a psychological game like this " a recurring set of transactions often repetitive, superficially rational, with a concealed motivation; or, more colloquially, as a series of transactions with a snare, or gimmick. "

The criteria, that defines transactions as games is as follows :

A continuing series of complementary transactions, that are credible on the social level. Basically it looks like honest, good old social interaction between people.
An ulterior transaction, which is the basic message of the game. There is a concealed message. This is not straightforward, honest social intercourse.
There is a predictable payoff and this ends the game. This is the purpose of playing the game.

These psychological games are similar to games like chess, or monopoly. The players need to know the game in order to play. These psychological games have a beginning, rules, and an ending or payoff, but have an ulterior, concealed purpose. These are usually not played for fun. Most are not fun. People unconsciously search out others with whom they can play the game.

Those involved in playing the game are not fully aware of what is going on. It is something that the participants are not fully conscious of. Games form the most important aspect of human social life all around the world. You cannot understand human behavior if you don't take into account the games people play. Wherever people interact you are bound to find games. Nations play them too.

Many fairy tales are based on the games people have played from time immemorial. Some examples are Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, The Emperor's New Clothes, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Peter Pan, and so on.

Games are essentially dishonest. Is it possible to live a life where one did not play any games ? Perhaps, but it is extremely unlikely and difficult. It may be barely possible. Most people can't live without their games.

It is important to also realize that people don't play games all the time. People also structure their time around things like rituals that oil the wheels of social interchange. Pastimes and activities also serve to structure our time. Things like normal conversation about things like the weather, work, hobbies, etc. There is also the work we do, which is quite often straightforward without games involved. People getting together doing some specific work and tasks. There are also other ways people structure their time, where games are not involved. People also get involved in intimacy, which can be game free.

Here is a list of 70 games that people play, which are probably the most common played. There are way, way, way more than 70 in the world. But isn't listing 70 enough for us here ? They are placed in alphabetical order.

Ain't it awful ?
Alcoholic - the payoff apparently has to do with the subsequent hangover, be it physical or psychological torment. Basically the game involves a process of social, financial or physical deterioration. In the game there is the alcoholic themselves, but a supporting cast of players include the persecutor (maybe a spouse or another relative), rescuer (someone who wants to rescue the alcoholic like a family Doctor maybe, but who can be just playing games too and not be a real rescuer), patsy (maybe a drinking buddy or buddies or someone else who helps fund the addiction or lend social support and legitimacy to the game) and then there is the connection - the ones where the alcoholic goes to get their supply of booze (a bartender, or bar owner or the liquor store clerk) these persons are usually more professional and hopefully know when to cut the alcoholic off from the supply. Drug addicts play a similar like game to " alcoholic" but this is a more serious, dangerous and sinister type game, which can have more dramatic results and move faster. That is the degradation of the person is usually faster and there can be a more damaging payoff. If you refuse to play any of the roles in the alcoholics game - then the alcoholic or addict will just unconsciously search out someone else to play the supporting roles in the game.
Asking for advice, but unconsciously not being prepared to take any of it.
Bear trapper
Blaming the government for almost everything.
Blemish - those who play this game are involved in prying and finding fault in others, but this has a picky, petty, nit picking quality to it. If someone is playing this game they will always find something to fault you for - no matter how well you do. Nit pickers.
Busman's holiday (a good game generally).
Buyer and seller game.
Catch me if you can.
Cavalier (a fairly harmless game for the most part, if you can find someone sophisticated enough to play it with you, but beware of the bear trapper and the rapo player).
Complaining to parents about sibling problems. Unconscious aim is to get the parent to yell at, or in some way punish the other kid.
Cops and robbers (doing crimes, but leaving yourself wide open to being caught).
Corner
Courtship games
Debtor People, or nations go massively into debt. Then they complain regularly about all the debts, and how the debts prevent them from doing such and such. There is no conscious effort to get rid of the debts, or keep them to a minimum. The game is to keep going into debt, so people can pay the game of debtor.
Frigid man
Frigid woman
Game of colonization- many nations say they are against it, but a lot of them practice it.
Game of Monk, Priest, or Nun. Game of religious recluse. Where people are just playing at this. They do not really take it seriously.
Game of saint as far as sex is concerned.
Giving their son, daughter, grand-son, or grand-daughter a start. This is a game when things turn out bad and the family begins fighting, or there is a falling out. When done properly this is not a game.
Game where governments of nations say they are out to help the common man, but really are there to help an elite.
Going to church - but not being really serious about it.
Great powers talk about helping their friends when another great power is oppressing them. However, when the time comes to help no help is given. It was just a lot of empty promises.
Happy to help (the person is doing penance for something, but generally speaking people won't complain much , if someone wants to help them out).
Harried (the person takes on too many projects, or tasks - they break down and cannot keep up - the collapse results in them getting even less done, and no doubt disappointing those who were depending upon them).
Homely sage (a good game).
I don't want anything to do with politics. But they play politics in their own lives.
If you don't do it someone else will - like cheating, or taking advantage of someone vulnerable.
If it weren't for you. Unconsciously attaching oneself to someone who is very controlling, or is very restrictive and then blaming that person or organization for blocking you in doing what you really want to do.
I'm a better man than you.
I'm going to get you if you don't watch out.
I'm only trying to help you.
I'm so good and pure - they are really far from it.
Indigence - Unconsciously a person, or even a whole country or society just lets things slide, and gradually they sink into a state of indigence. Basic needs are ignored, and the person, or country must rely upon others for handouts.
Keep your distance
Let's pull a fast one on Joey.
Let's pull a trick on the salesman.
Lets you and her fight.
Look how hard I've tried.
Lunch bag - is a game that has some good and bad qualities to it. The game reinforces qualities like thrift or hard work, which would generally be regarded as virtues. The bad side to it is that people can use the game to try and manipulate and control others. Like with the husband who uses up old paper bags and left over scraps of food from home to take to work for lunch to just unconsciously try and control the wife and her spending habits. Being " cheap " may be necessary at certain times in our lives when times are tough, but can be overdone. Most communities have their quota of persons who are so cheap they squeak - and sometimes such persons are quite well off. Like the comical skit on the old Jack Benny program years ago - Benny is confronted by a robber who threatens him with a gun and demands, "Your money or your life!" Jack Benny does not answer right away and the thief gets mad and says, "I said... your money or your life!" There is a long silence from Jack and the thief shouts, "Why don't you answer me. I said your money or your life!" Benny finally answers, "I'm thinking, I'm thinking. "
Minding their own business - a game when this is used as an excuse not to get involved, or not to help the needy.
Nations getting into wars, but they are not really interested in winning the war. Some examples are the strife between the Palestinians and Israel in the Holy Land. This is ongoing. Neither side appears interested in resolving the conflict, or gaining an outright military victory. The Vietnam War waged by the United States, where they were not prepared to do what was needed to win.
Now I've got you - you S.O.B. The person, or country has someone defeated, or in a very vulnerable position. Instead of being a gracious winner or being nonjudgmental, and letting the other one save face - they want to rub the other person's or country's nose in it. The unconscious aim is to humiliate the other.
Peace, peace when there is no peace - an example is the continual call for peace by nations all around the world, while they are busily involved in wars, or are supplying arms to those in wars.
Persecution game This is a game when people unconsciously seek out someone to persecute them, so they can then claim how they are persecuted. Legitimate victims of persecution do not go out of their way to seek persecutors, by provoking others.
Poor me and Kick me (people unconsciously setting themselves up for failure). There are victims, and then there are victims. This is a game when the person, or country unconsciously sets themselves up to lose, or to be abused, or to be taken advantage of. There are genuine victims of injustices, of corruption and of oppression. Such persons or countries genuinely do not want to be victimized, and they resist, but are still taken advantage of or cheated.
Psychiatry
Rapo or Kiss off
Rich nations offering to help poorer lands, but they just want to cheat them (They seem to want to help, but the unconscious aim is to exploit and cheat. The poor nations are part of the game, when they unconsciously set themselves up to be taken advantage of).
Rescue game - the person, group, or perhaps nation is only playing at this. They are not really serious about really rescuing the person, group or country.
Saving the world - saving sinners.
Schlemiel Making messes and then apologizing, being forgiven, but then not correcting the behavior, but just making more messes.
See how hard I work.
See what you made me do.
Stupid Unconsciously setting themselves up for failure by acting stupid, or doing things incorrectly. The aim of the game being to get others to confirm to the person their underlying psychological position - that they are in some way unworthy or stupid in their own eyes. The individual isn't making honest mistakes, and are not trying to honestly deal with them - they are unconsciously setting themselves up for criticism, abuse and failure. Such persons will unconsciously seek out someone, who can play the game with them, and who will call them stupid, or ridicule them.
The crazy game - pretending to be crazy.
They'll be glad they knew me (a good game).
They had it coming for trusting me.
Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Uproar
Wooden leg - this is a game when someone has a disability, like a wooden leg, or like maybe some psychological disorder etc, and they just use the disability as an excuse to not make an effort, or to not succeed at things.
What would you do without me ?
What's the use - nothing will turn out good anyways. This is a game when people just use this as an excuse not to get involved, or not to do the right thing.
Where people talk about hating the devil and his ways, but they follow Satan and his ways.
Why am I always cheated ? People playing this game unconsciously set themselves up to be cheated, and those who take advantage of such people are often deeply involved in games too.
Why don't you - yes but. Asking for advice, but not really being prepared to take any of it.
You better do what I say , or else.
Jealously and envy game - running down what others have in order to cheat them out of it.

There are so many bizarre things that happen in this world. When you hear of them you often can only shake your head in disbelief. Why ? Why do such weird things happen ? There is very often no rational reason behind it. It is just a game. And many times the payoff is death. Most games are not fun. Let me just give you some examples:

The alcoholic, drug addict or gambling addict, who is slowly destroying themselves. Why ? It is a game. It is irrational. It is also so very sad.
The woman who goes from one abusive bum and creep to another.
The small time criminal who commits one crime after another, and who is a regular in the courts and jail.
A nation that goes massively into debt, and does nothing to resolve the situation. Then the people and media talk endlessly about what the country could do, if it were not for all the debts. The debtor game.
The young woman who marries a beast in the hopes of changing him. She loves and kisses him, but he doesn't change into a Prince. This only happens in the fairy tales. Magic in the real world is in short supply.
An employee is having serious problems on the job. He goes home, comes back with a gun and blows his enemies away. Then he kills himself. This sort of thing also sometimes happens between spouses and lovers. It is almost always the man who cracks and ends up killing the woman and maybe the whole family. Then he blows his brains out.
Political leaders getting their country into senseless wars that they have no intentions of winning or resolving. Their enemies may be playing the same game. The war rages on year after year. Multiple thousands are killed and crippled. The country lies in ruins, with bombed out buildings, bridges and other ruined infrastructure. The land is littered with land mines. Other countries, who are not part of the fighting may go along with this hellish game by supplying arms and munitions to one or the other participants. Recent examples: War between Iraq and Iran( which lasted eight years and resolved nothing). Civil War in lands like Angola, the former Zaire, Sudan, Afghanistan, Colombia, Sri Lanka, Burundi, Algeria, Yugoslavia, Kashmir, Bosnia, and on and on it goes. And then they get together at the UN and spout off about how much they desire peace. Yet the trade in arms and munitions continues unabated. Bullets before bread.

All the world's a stage

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances;

Each man in his time plays many parts.

William Shakespeare

Major games being played collectively in Canada.

1. Debtor - Probably the most widely played collective, societal game played in Canada.

Subconsciously the majority of Canadians never intend to eliminate the national debt (which federally is around 470 billion, and the provincial and territorial collective debt is around 270 billion, and this doesn't include unfunded government liabilities). Why ? Because then they couldn't complain about the debts and the high taxes. Additionally recent statistics indicate consumer debt in Canada in 2007 was more than $1,000,000,000,000 (one trillion dollars) and growing ! In 1984 Canadians owed only about $187 billion in personal debt.

2. Ain't it Awful - Collectively many, many Canadians are continually grumbling about how their country is so poorly managed, yet Canadians in general continue to elect incompetent leaders.

This gives them the opportunity to play the " Ain't it Awful " game.

3. The Rescue Game

Collectively so many Canadians want to help this world out so very, very much, but the help is basically ineffective and ineffectual. Like the phony concern shown to oppressed peoples in places like Africa. Nice words will not stop oppression and genocide. They want to free the Afghani people, but freedoms in their own country of Canada continue to be eroded.

4. I don't want anything to do with politics. Many sneer at politicians, and if one wants to talk about political matters with them - they look down on you self-righteously and tell you " they don't want anything to do with politics. " Yet these same people are very often deeply involved in all kinds of politics, like office politics, community politics, family politics, gender politics, or sexual politics. How can one honesty say they don't want anything to do with politics, when they practice politics in so many areas of their lives ?

5. If it weren't for you.

6. Game where the government of the day says they are out to help the common man, but really are there to help an elite. Statistics show that the gap between rich and poor in Canadian society continues to grow. Yet governments of every stripe keep giving us this phony story that they are concerned for the welfare of the ordinary citizen.

7. Offering to help poorer lands, but they just want to cheat them (They seem to want to help, but the unconscious aim is to exploit and cheat. The poor nations are part of the game, when they unconsciously set themselves up to be taken advantage of).

8. Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Examples are Corrections Canada, and the aid given to corrupt regimes throughout the world.

9. I'm so good and pure (but many are really far from it).

10. Why am I always cheated ? This seems to quite strong in Canadian relations with the USA.

11. Blaming the government for almost everything.

12. Poor me and Kick me (unconsciously setting themselves up for failure).

13. Busman's holiday (a good game generally).

14. Happy to help (the person is doing penance for something, but generally speaking people won't complain much , if someone wants to help them out).

The Origin of Psychological Games

The Bible teaches that there once existed a great Cherub called Lucifer, who was at one time obedient to God. However, this great spirit being rebelled against God. One third of the angels under his command followed him in this destructive rebellion (Revelation 12:3-4). Thus Lucifer was transformed into none other than Satan the Devil and 1/3 of the once Holy Angels became Fallen Angels.

Isaiah 14:12-15 " How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning ! How art thou cut down to the ground, which did weaken the nations ! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will exalt my throne above the stars (angels) of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit. "

Ezekiel 28:12 " ...... Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. "

Ezekiel 28:14-15 " Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth and I have set thee so: thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire. Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee."

Ezekiel 28:17 " Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee. "

Luke 10:18 " And He said unto them, I beheld Satan as lighting fall from heaven."

The Bible doesn't say how long these spirit beings were obedient to God before they rebelled - it could have been millions of years. It doesn't say how long they have been in rebellion - this could also be in the multiple millions of years.

These beings have become corrupt, because they no longer follow God and His ways. The relationships they have with one another has become corrupt. Thus Satan and the fallen angels are the originators of games. Satan and the fallen angels are completely corrupt now, and are mentally unstable and mentally deranged. It has come to the point now that they would want to die, but they can't, since they are spirits (Luke 8:26-33) (Matthew 8:28-34) (James 2:19) (Revelation 12:12) (Revelation 20:10).

Lucifer's throne was here on earth. God had sent him and 1/3 of the holy angels to this earth, but Lucifer became proud and rebelled against God. The 1/3 of the holy angels under his command followed Lucifer and also rebelled against God. They stormed heaven to fight against the other angels - the ones who remained loyal to God. Lucifer wanted to be the ruler over all the angels. He wanted to be God. He was not satisfied with his position.

Lucifer rebelled and in so doing transformed and created himself into the devil. God did not create the devil. Lucifer made himself into the adversary of God into the devil, and he is the father of lies and all wickedness (John 8:44) (1John 3:8). God changed Lucifer's name to Satan, which means Adversary. Satan and the fallen angels were now God's enemies, and they are the enemies of those angels who remain loyal to God. Michael and Gabriel are two powerful angels who are firmly on God's side.

God had given Lucifer his throne and jurisdiction over the earth. When he rebelled and became God's Adversary, he still retained his throne and God given jurisdiction over the earth. God did not take Satan's throne away from him when he was cast down to the earth (Matthew 12:24-29) (Luke 11:14-22) (Revelation 9:11). Satan is the unseen spirit ruler of this corrupt, rebellious world (Ephesians 2:2-7) ( Ephesians 6:11-12).

Destruction of Life on Earth and Renewal

There was war in heaven. Lucifer wanted to be over all the angels. He wanted to rule in heaven. In the ensuing battle parts of the universe, and life on earth was destroyed (Isaiah 14:12-15) (Genesis 1:1-2). The record in Genesis describes a renewing of life on earth. The original creation is very, very briefly explained in Genesis 1:1 (chapter one, verse one).

The war among the angelic beings mentioned in Revelation 12:7-9 is not the same war where Lucifer stormed to heaven, and in that struggle life on earth was destroyed. This war happens in the last days and may have happened already, but it could still be in the near future. Michael and his angels under him fight against the dragon and his angels, and the dragon loses the war and is forever banished from heaven (Revelation 12:7-13). Right after that we see a stepped up persecution of God's true Church.

So after this original angelic rebellion God must have then realized that there was no 100 % guarantee that the remaining 2/3 of the holy angels would remain loyal and obedient to Him.

So what appears to have happened is that God, after much thought and planning, decided to create new beings , who would be greater than the angels in His Kingdom (Hebrews 2:5-10). Beings made in God's image, but created out of the dust of the earth. These beings were made so that they have the potential to be born in the spiritual image of God in His Family and live forever. However, if they refuse to take advantage of that opportunity, or refuse to live up to that potential, then they can be destroyed forever (Genesis 1:26-28) (1 Corinthians 15:44-58).

So God creates man in His own image out of the dust of the ground, and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7). But man is only physical. He needs to be created in the spiritual image of God. He is not complete the way he is.

We Have God Given Free Moral Agency

God gave Adam and Eve a choice - they could leave it up to God to decide the rules and decide what was right or wrong, or they could rebel and decide for themselves what they thought was right or wrong. But God warned them very clearly that if they rebelled against His standards then the result would be death (Genesis 2:16-17) (Genesis 3:2-3).

Adam and Eve were given free moral agency. God allowed Satan to tempt and test Adam and Eve. Eve gave in to the temptation and decided she wanted to follow her own ways and standards of right and wrong. Adam followed her in this rebellion (Genesis 3:1-21) (1 Timothy 2:13-14).

They followed Satan rather than God. Mankind therefore became part of Satan's Kingdom, subject to death, and with a nature very similar to Satan's (Ephesians 2:1-13) (Colossians 1:13,21) (Hebrews 2:13-18) (Colossians 3:1-10) (Galatians 5: 19-26). So death came upon the human family (Romans 5:12-21). They lost their opportunity to receive eternal life. God blocked access for them to the Holy Spirit, which the tree of life was symbolic of.

Adam and Eve could have remained faithful to God , but they failed the test.

It seems likely that God had anticipated this possibility. Therefore God instituted His plan for the redemption of mankind, which of course is through Jesus Christ, and His sacrifice for mankind.

Origin of Psychological Games

Satan and the fallen angels are the originators of these psychological games. Most people also play similar games, when they follow their evil natures.

This all sounds rather unpleasant and depressing, but God has a purpose for all these things. God wants people to experience Satan's ways in the hope they will be repulsed and repelled by them, and not want to follow those ways. God wants mankind to experience the fruits of sin, in the hope they will see how terrible and destructive sin is. So we have been forced into these things.

So people play games. But God has instituted a plan where all human beings will be given an opportunity for salvation, unless of course all true Christians have fallen away from God and there is no elect left during the Great Tribulation - Matthew 24:21-22. Then Christ will allow all human life to be destroyed in the nuclear war. So if this happens all mankind won't be given an opportunity for salvation.

Hopefully they will all be given the opportunity to receive the Holy Spirit, which is the new nature (Galatians 6:14-15) (Colossians 3:1-17 note verse 10). They can then learn to follow that new nature, instead of following the old sinful nature. It is a lifetime work, but if people plug away at it they can learn to put away harmful games. They can learn how to avoid playing destructive games. It is a learning process. In the process of overcoming our sins and evil natures we grow in grace and character. Thus God uses something bad to create something good and enduring within us, like righteous character. So in effect God is using the devil for God's own purposes. God is so wise. He can turn defeats into victories.

The old sinful nature likes to play games. It is motivated by lust, greed, selfishness, vanity, jealousy and so on. It is basically evil (Galatians 5:19-21) (Jeremiah 17:9). But through Jesus Christ we can be changed and given a new nature - the Holy Spirit.

Christ Has Won The Victory Over Sin and Death and the Devil

Through Christ and His sacrifice on the cross, His death and resurrection, God has won the victory over sin and death (Hebrews the 9th Chapter). Yet death remains Christ's enemy and mankind's, and will be the last enemy to be completely defeated (1 Corinthians 15:24-28 note verse 26).

Christ has qualified to rule this earth. Christ has already judged and condemned Satan, and Satan will be removed from his position as the god of this evil world when Jesus returns to earth to set up His Kingdom (John 12:31, 14:30, 16:11). Satan's Kingdom on this earth will soon come to an end. When Jesus returns He will take the devil and the fallen angels, and lock them in the bottomless pit (Revelation 20:1-3).

It may sometimes seems like Satan and the fallen angels are more powerful than God, but this is certainly not the case. Christ has already won the victory over the devil and his fallen angel followers. It is just that God's Kingdom does not now rule on earth.

The entire universe is loyal to God and is ruled by God, except for the earth. Since us human beings are of the earth and forced to live here, it often seems Satan is stronger than God, but this is totally untrue. God the Father and God the Son are infinitely greater than the devil and the fallen angels. These evil beings can only go as far as God allows them to (Job 1:1-22 and Job 2:1-10).

The future of Satan and the fallen angels is to be tormented forever and ever in hell (Revelation 20:10) They realize this and are horrified by the prospect.

Human beings have the potential to be born into God's Kingdom and live forever as God's children (Revelation 21:5-7).

It is God's hope that all human beings would live up to that potential and be in God's kingdom, but people have free moral agency (2 Peter 3:9). If they want to be there badly enough then God and Christ will give them all the encouragement and help they need. It all comes down to whether they love God enough to want to live forever with Him in His Kingdom (Luke 10:25-28).

Then hopefully the games will come to an end.

Guarantee of Rights and Freedoms and Fundamental Freedoms (from the Canadian Constitution) " The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms: (a) freedom of conscience and religion; (b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication; (c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and (d) freedom of association. "

Readers are encouraged to point out biblical errors in all of my material and writings on spiritual matters. If you can find scriptural errors in my teachings - teachings that cannot be backed up by hard, concrete biblical doctrine - then I will gladly accept the constructive criticism and make the changes needed. So please go ahead and point out my mistakes, but your criticism must not be based on mere opinion, but must be able to be proved from the Bible.

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